Do you know that feeling when something really bad is about to happen? ... Of course you do, you've all been through parent-teacher meetings. Well ours is tomorrow, and my father got "called" to be reminded to attended (The invitation for the worse) . I know I haven't been doing well this past quarter term, but this seriously be a lot worse than I'm expecting it to be. Really worried about what might be said tomorrow.
This whole school thing has been sucking the blood out of my veins; I just can't focus on whatever is said. I can't swallow much of the curriculum given at school; to me it just feels so unnecessary, worthless and stupid. Not only does the system over consume you, but rewards you nothing in return. No useful knowledge. No job related to your line of work. No guarantees. Zero. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zip.
Getting a scholarship does sound very tempting, It will always will, but right now with all the kind of work we're given I can't believe that everyone isn't considering it farfetched. No system is perfect, but personally, I see that ours takes 10 steps back for every step forward.
I know I just sound pissed right now, but when it comes to education I can talk the hind leg off a donkey, so there will be a part two for this (Yes ! and maybe the second one will actually make coherent sense !). There's nothing I can do right now but wait, so that's what I'll be doing, and until then, I have the two most perfect songs for this situation. Downloads are under there.
Reading : The Historian By Elizabeth Kostova (Reread) Single : Poison > Life Goes On D12 > Revelation Album : Jose Gonzalez > Vaneer
This is a pretty exciting month when it comes to new releases. I've got alot of the new stuff but I just didn't have enough time to listen to anything seriuosly. I'm becoming very picky towards what I listen too these days, a little too much, I've been playing and writing (guitar & piano) alot this past month and I'm really liking the pace things have been going at. I don't think I'll record anything soon, if ever, I'm just too lazy for that kind of work. Alot of practicing and mastering invloved, but I might just give it a shot if I feel a little too free sometime soon, maybe even something with vocals. I have a cold and a slight sore throat so it gives this .. tone to my voice, it sounds good in my head so might see what it sounds like outside.
Ok ok, back to whatever it is I was going on about ... Ohh yeah, so here are a few songs that you might like, I do WISH that someone does download one (or more) for a listen and drop a line with what he thinks.
Title :Soil's Song Artist : Katatonia Album : The Great Cold Distance Size : 6.8Mb Bitrate : 224
Title :One Last Chance Artist : James Morrison Album : Undiscovered Size : 6.7Mb Bitrate : 192
Title :Innocent Greed Artist : Guano Apes Album : The Best Of Guano Apes Size : 5.4 Mb Bitrate : 192
Title :Coming For You Artist : JoJo Album : The High Road Size : 5.0 Mb Bitrate : 192
Title :Now Or Never Artist : Josh Groban Album : Awake Size : 4.7 Mb Bitrate : 178
There isn't much variety, I know, all of it is Pop except the Katatonia song. There hasn't been any good Metal or Rock releases lately, so it's pop for now. Enjoy and tell me what you think.
Edit : You can stream the songs through Internet Explorer by clicking the little play icon on the download page
I can't commit. I simply can't, to anything. I thought that I'd give a little more effort to this blog, post regularly to keep record of this randomness that's going on with my life, but no. It really isn't about this blog, more about how I'm struggling to give a pattern to my days. Lately it just feels like I'm trying too hard to create this harmony between everything, school, friends, family, other commitments, that I've lost control of everything.
It's just setting me back, on a lot of levels. I tried to talk to a friend or two about it but I just keep hearing an echo of what the little voice in my head has been screaming lately. It's been 'different' for a while now and I can't decided if this is just a phase that will it's self out, or maybe just a buffer zone before I can get used to things again.
Panic, depression, anxiety, whatever this is ... must go soon
Off-Thought :- On a lighter note, I was browsing through a few blogs last night. Especially automobile, technology and gaming ones. I'm a new stuff bitch, I have this firm feeling that out there is this super filthy rich girl who loves the shit out of me, a little note to her.