Makes you poor real fast. You know what makes you poorer though ? .. Car trouble from Britain. When they're not praising the queen or fighting with the Irish, they make good cars that change the face of mobility as we know it. You have Land Rovers that redefined the limits of off-road driving, Jaguars that reset the standards of luxury and comfort. Rolls Royces and Bentley for the all the men with penile deficiencies. Aston Martins that tear the tarmac apart with their ridiculously slick lines and aerodynamics. Then there's always the Mini with it's road charm and intentionally exaggerated goofiness.
My point is. The British make cars like the rest of Europe. Beautiful, High Quality makings with great engineering, but the thing about a european car is that it's like a great temporary anti-wrinkle cream. You'll look like a super model when it works, but when it decides not to, you'll look like Michael Jackson. That's how I look right now ...
And being 'Like Mike' has never sounded this unappealing and repulsive. One might wonder what this whole post is about. In a nutshell, I took my 1999 Land Rover Discovery (Yes, she's British) for a routine service in a local station, and asked for a full servicing because it had been a a few thousand Kims since I last took it for one. A full servicing usually includes an Oil Change, Oil Filter Change, Gas Filter Change, Spark Plug Change and a full underbody wash. It was all done in a few hours and so I took the car home.
.. and the newly serviced car's arrival is celebrated with fireworks. Literally. I notice a white smoke escaping from under the hood. It was just a little and I calmed myself with the fact that sometimes cars act weirdly after a fresh oil change. Locked the car and went in.
I didn't know that anything is wrong until I unlocked it and ran it for errands the next day. The mysterious white smoke appears again and this time surprises me with his friend. The shut down and refuse to turn back on again one. The car died on me in the middle of the road. After endless struggling, the car does eventually turn on again and I drive away, pissing off the 100 cars congested behind me.
Took it to a mechanic and the report just came in. Apparently, the motherfucker from the service center installed one of the sparks plugs incorrectly, causing a gas and oil leakage, which evaporates instantly causing the car to smoke. Since then, I purchased two Gasket Manifold Rubber-thingies, with 8 new plug wire thingies and topped it off with a new Master Cylinder Kit-ie for the break issue that I've been postponing since ... well, forever. The whole mess set me a good shiny purple 50 Rial note, without the 30 rial labor charge. I'm planning to buy a new compressor for the AC situation, another issue that I've been postponing forever (I still even haven't started with the postponed school work). That will set me another good 30 rials back.
Not to mention that I'll eventually have to throw 200 rials in for new tires. The current ones are starting to look like Paris Hilton's vagina, overused to damage. I'm planning to prostitute that money out, hopefully.
I shouldn't even bother telling my parents about any car-related money. They refuse to spend any money on 'that waste' and want me to replace it with something a little more practical, and you know how to spell practical. T,O,Y,O,T,A. No. NO NO NO ! There's nothing more gratifying than having 188 ponies pushing power between your legs, defying these earthly rules of gravity and physics, climbing through dunes and mountain, finding their way through valleys of mud and rock, and intimidating every last American car on the road. I'll never change this car.